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Corvidophile
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| DIRT DEVIL JUST ATE MY HAIR AND PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE
OH GOD I WAS VACUUMING THE FLOOR WITH A LITTLE DIRT DEVIL ON MY HANDS AND KNEES AND I GUESS MY HAIR JUST FELL IN FRONT OF IT
OW.
IT LITERALLY PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE, ZOOMING UP MY HAIR. IT GOT ME IN THE CHEEK AND JAW. LUCKILY IT CHOKED AND THE BELT FELL OFF, SO IT STOPPED SUCKING ON ITS OWN AFTER A SECOND OR TWO.
MY HAIR IS ALL FRAZZLED AND CURLY ON THE RIGHT SIDE, NOW, BUT IT SEEMS LIKE NOT MUCH OF IT BROKE OFF, I'M LUCKY. IT TOOK IN LIKE A FOOT OF IT. IT WAS VERY SCARY, SLOWLY PULLING IT OUT, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE CHOPPED AND BURNT AND SHIT.
GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER. | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment   |
| YO HOW FUCKING TIGHT WOULD IT BE IF I WERE TO MAKE A CORVI PLUSHIE?
HOW FUCKING TIGHT IS IT THAT I'M MAKING ONE RIGHT FUCKING NOW?
I WOULD POST PICTURES BUT MY CAMERA'S BATTERY IS DEAD
BUT I WILL SOON!!!!!! | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Guns N' Roses- Sweet Child O' Mine | | Time: | 11:25 pm |
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..This is funny because Jesse talks about him all the time. |D | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| AH, BY THE WAY, TWO THINGS I'VE GOTTA RIGHT DOWN:
Couple of weeks ago had a dreary vision while I was waking up of the perfect picture to go with the song No Rain by Blind Melon. Now it doesn't make too much sense and I would've never thought of it while awake, but it's still a fantastic picture idea and I wanna draw it.
I've also had an illustrated scene in my head for Rocky Raccoon by The Beatles for more than a year now, but I've never been able to get it out right. It has.. Uh. |D;; Raccoons wearing cowboy hats and little cowboy boots with spurs and stuff. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| Aw man, it almost snowed a ton two days ago. Almost. By early afternoon there was about an inch on the ground, which I proceeded to giddily stomp around in during the evening, but I went back inside because it started.. I don't know the word. Frozen-raining? Mini-hailing? Ice-pelleting? In any case, it stung and stabbed me in the eyes more than a few times, so I left. |D By the time night came though, it started raining. Heavily. And I was there at the window, going "NOOOOOO NO NO NO NOOOOO WHY IS IT RAINING?" And the sky was like "LOL."
It rained throughout the night and almost all of yesterday and melted the snow and pissed me off in general.
I had a Bee Movie dream that night. Well, it ended as a Bee Movie dream. I didn't like that movie at all. It was a C movie, ironically enough. It wasn't actually good enough to be entertaining on its own merit, but it wasn't bad enough to be so awful it was funny. It was just.. bad. It was a ridiculous plot that they seemed to take too seriously, and the general Seinfeld humour was misplaced. He used sitcom and stand-up style jokes, surprise surprise, but they just plain didn't work in the movie. Like how he ranted at one point in the cockpit of an airplane- "NOW ONE OF 'EM'S YADDAYA, ONE'S IN A BOAT, AND THEY'RE BOTH UNCONSCIOUS!" It would've been funny on his show as him, say, running frantically up to George or something and explaining a situation he caused. Or him retelling an entire story on stage as part of a stand-up routine. But it just.. wasn't funny in context. At all. I was specifically thinking in the theatre, several times might I add, about how this or that would've been a good line to use anywhere else but this movie, and what a pity it was that it was wasted here.
BUT ENOUGH OF THAT.
The dream started with me going back to school after a long summer and discovering that there was apparently a project assigned over the break that was due today. I looked in my backpack as the teacher was coming around to collect them and actually found it, though. According to the date on the thing, I had done it on the first day of vacation and just stuffed it back in there and forgot about it. As I was handing it to her, though, I saw the words on it and realized that they didn't match my writing style at all. I specifically noted that there were too many exclamation points. xDD;; I kinda shrunk down in my seat and didn't say anything, but then she called to me from across the room several minutes later that I was being kicked out for plagiarizing. So I left the classroom.
Outside the door there was a small, screen-enclosed porch that was shared by the room next door. It was a somewhat windy day (though I didn't feel the wind at all) and the other classroom's door had latching problems or something and kept slowly swinging open inwards and the kids in there kept staring at me as I was just.. sitting Indian-style outside their door and casually pulling it closed as needed. Eventually the teacher in there started giving me dirty looks because she thought I was doing it on purpose for fun. Then a brown piglet ran out of the room and the door stopped opening.
I caught him and I was just sitting there holding him thinking "Whuh?" It was a really small piglet though, it was Yorkie-sized. Then it ran away, because there was no longer a porch. Or any classrooms, for that matter. I was just sitting on someone's doorstep and got up and jogged after it. And then I turned into a bee. |D A realistic bee, though. Not cartoony at all, just a real bee. And I was suddenly aware that I had to go join some other group of bees hovering around a certain building in New York City, so I flew off.
I eventually reached this group of bees, but they weren't in the agreed spot. They were on a telephone wire about fifty feet away from it because the building was surrounded by strong winds that they couldn't get past. So we were all just standing on this thing being bees for a while. Then Jerry Seinfeld shows up on the roof from the emergency staircase and summons us. A group of four to ten at a time made it across the wind, and eventually it was just me by myself. I HOPPED UP VALIANTLY AND MADE MY WAY ACROSS SLOWLY, ALMOST NOT MAKING IT, and then proceeded to land lackluster on the roof, where I was kinda thrown off balance because there was suddenly no wind whatsoever.
It was at that point that I noticed that all the other bees were gone, and I got the eerie distinct feeling that Jerry Seinfeld was actually the leader of some bee cult and frequently sent bees to their doom. I tried to nonchalantly fly over to a trashcan on the roof while he was facing he other direction, but found a dead bee curled up in there and moved to the next one over. I emerged from the trashcan with a piece of some deli honey turkey in my mandibles, and the dream ended as I was perched on the rim chewing it more like a rabbit with a long stick of grass than anything else. Probably because I've never seen bees eating. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| GUYS I DREAMED INTERESTINGLY LAST NIGHT. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I WROTE ABOUT A DREAM HERE? THAT WAS THE LAST TIME THAT I REMEMEBERD (I'm not even fixing that |D) A DREAM THAT WAS MORE THAN A FEW VAGUE SECONDS. WOW HAS IT BEEN A LONG TIME.
Alright, so, uh. I'm not sure how many of you know that NekoYasha's name is Katie, and I can't remember if I'd set that down in a past gernle, But since A it's a lot easier to type and B it's how I mentally refer to her nowadays, I'm letting you all know that's who she is. |D;
It started out with me and Jesse standing around in my bedroom back at my house (which was completely abandoned but upkept) when Katie and Varn come over. And I was MASSIVELY DISSAPOINTED IN HER, because she dressed in girly colors and had a very feminine voice in dream-real-life, and I was friggin' aghast. |8< Varn looked like this little avatar he uses of himself drawn by Katie, which actually looks nothing like him, which was another disappointment since he has radioactive orange hair, but only once I woke up. It was accepted as the norm at the time. I really can't remember what we did in my house aside from standing there. |D Eventually we all wandered into my backyard, where Varn and Katie proceeded to dig holes all over. With fucking huge shovels, too. I was laughing but at the same time shouting "NO, STOP, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU GREMLINS?", and they eventually got in Katie's car together and drove to her house within minutes because this is dreamland and they could. The car was.. bizarre, to say the least. It was a two-seating convertible that was sort of a burnt sienna and metallic brown mix, what.
Once Jesse and I arrived at her doorstep via teleportation, he disappeared for the rest of the dream. I kinda went in without knocking or anything, and it.. well, I.... What I mean to say is, uh.. Well, her house, it had theme music. Yeah. That's not the oddest part though. The music was from the overworld of a computer game called Mafia.
HERE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGl0oEAsU-g
and HERE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jatTi05aBMw&feature=related
More of the second one played than the first, but both of them were slowed down and creepier. xDD;; Also, her carpets were dark grey and her walls were white and the whole house was tall and narrow and creepy. At one point, we even met her creepy uncle who she introduced as her dad. He.. he looked kinda like a Yip Yip in a suit. I was carefully making a cold roast beef and provolone hoagie in her kitchen for myself when he walked in and scared the hell out of me. I dropped the piece of roast beef I was about to lay down on the bread on the floor and RAN OUT OF THE ROOM. I came back several minutes later to find Varn talking to the Yipman like he was a normal person while the guy was lying down on his back on the very long and also very creepy dining room table. It ended somewhere shortly afterwards.
..I have to draw a picture of the Yipman uncle. HERE HE IS:
 | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| For about a week, I had some sort of scabbed injury on the inside of my knee. It hurt quite a bit when I walked and folded my leg, so I kept ripping the top layer of it off out of dumb frustration. |D Then two days ago I got really fed up because it was hurting worse than usual and dug the entire thing pretty deep. Then I noticed something funny on the underside of the scab.
After some confused inspection, I found out that it was lint from some pants I wore some time ago. |D;; I'm figuring that I had a simple cut initially and then that got in there and prevented it from healing right.
So now I just have a clean hole with a normal scab on top that doesn't hurt me.
THE END. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Cream - I Feel Free | | Time: | 06:02 pm |
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| We didn't get to see the sandbar yesterday. |D;; We went down there at the time that the Internets in general said the tide would be at its lowest in that area, and it was actually pretty high, still. Bah.
Currently working on two pictures at once, a pixel thing and a watercolour thing. It's interesting and a nice change of pace to be able to switch to the other when I'm sick of working on one, and I can get more done in a day that way, too. They're for Rocket and VK, respectively. ..Er, Vani, I guess. I can't stop referring to her as VK in my head, even though everybody says Vani now, guh. I'm also spewing out a couple regular sketches every now and then, right now I'm really interested in getting a good grasp on semi-realism. Not full-blown or any crazy shit like that, just semi. Y'know, like a truck. Trucks are cool.
.What the hell did I- SEMI-REALISM, yes. |D; I've been slowly moving towards it anyway, with the whole drawing cartoons but shading them like FFBBZDSHJFDSGJDF, so I figure it'll help my shading in general to make the leap from where I am now to something more like that. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | NEWS | | Time: | 11:50 am |
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| | I was on a trip with Jesse all last week, and I'm currently writing several long-ass entries detailing it. I'll post them all at once when I'm done with them, because if I post them as I finish them I have a feeling I'll never get around to finishing. |D;; | | comments: Leave a comment |
| It started out when I had just gone into my third hour class, Psychology with Mr. Klager. Everyone that was coming in from walking in the courtyard to get here was covered in frost and complaining, and when I asked why, they gave me the obvious answer: It was snowing.
So of course I was like "Pffft screw class" and ran outside. xD And they were right, it was snowing. The courtyard was filled with uneven piles of it, and there was an unbroken base cover of it, too. And it was still coming strong. The whole outside world smelled like Michael's, though. I went out a little bit and layed down right in the middle of a pile, where I started to notice cartoonishly huge snowflakes fluttering down. I mean, we're talkin' fist-sized, here. I lazily tried to catch a few when they were near enough to me, but as soon as I touched them the heat from my hand quickly melted them from the point I made contact with. Then I caught one that didn't melt. In fact, it seemed to be made out of plastic. xD;; I noticed that it was hardly cold, too. In fact, it was at this point that I noticed that nothing was really as cold as it should be. I mean yes, it was kinda chilly, but the basic temperature I'd say was in the 60's with colder, slow gushes of wind every now and then. And the snow itself was only as cold as your average refrigerator item's surface.
It had been about five minutes, enough to make me late for class, and the courtyard had cleared out. I decided it was time to go back, tardy or not. Then.. there was this part where I was no longer late once I got to class and people were still arriving, so I went out the conveniently never seen before back door of the classroom straight to the outside. I sat out there and watched through the cracks in the blinds as everyone arrived and the bell rang, and then just went back to.. sitting where I was and staring at the world in general, I guess.
Then I took a look around at where I actually was. I was sitting in a concrete drainage system, big enough to be used as a kiddie pool with the sides going up about two or three feet and the distance between the building and the outside rim being about five or six. I was several stories up now and I could see over the side that it was still snowing a bit out, and the landscape was beautiful and farm-filled British countryside looking. Sitting where I was though, the awning up above shielded me from any hint of snow or cold.
..Then these sumo wrestlers came. Two of 'em. |D;; The pool was considerably wider and.. was actually considered to be an unfilled pool at this point, and they sort of backstroked/floated through nothing in particular to reach me. I was in the middle of them as they passed me by, looking like they wanted to mess with me, so I gave them this amused expression as if to say "And what are you two gonna do? Swim laps around me?" They both grinned at this, like they knew something that I didn't. It was at this point that I started to get a little scared, so I tried to get back into the building.
They disappeared as soon as I opened up the door that I thought I came through, but in there I found an apartment's bathroom with a young mom sitting by the tub reading as her three-year-old son splashed around in it. I was dumbstruck for a moment, but from the look on her face this was a regular occurrence when she told me that it was alright that I'd made the mistake. Closing the door and looking along the side of the building, I saw only now that it had many doors attached to it. I was at the left-most right now. Something told me that the next one over was the one I really wanted, and looking in the window to the left of it, I had this confirmed. I didn't wanna open it right now, though; I wanted to see what the other doors held first. So I went one to the left again and glanced in that window.
I saw.. an orange-tinted room. Huge one, with candelabras hanging at various heights with actual candles burning in them. I went ahead and opened it. In the far corner of the room, there was another bath. xD But this time, uh.. my biology teacher from 10th grade was in it. And she was pissed that I interrupted her little spa thing she had going. |D;;; She came out of the bath, already wearing clothes, and marched towards me, going on about how her late husband used to join her in these ceremonies and how stupid I was to interrupt her memorial services she held once a month. I closed the door before she reached me and went back to my Psychology room after that. xD;
The bell had just rung to signify the end of class, so as soon as I got back in the building I started making my way through the classroom to get to the main hallway. I noticed Mr. Klager giving me funny looks though, and not just the "you skipped my class how dare you" type of funny look. Something was wrong. I got out to the hallway and everything seemed normal, so I tried to walk away to my fourth hour, but Mrs. Weatherspoon, the assistant principal, stopped me. Without a word but with very sure movements, she took hold of my upper arm and tried to lead me away somewhere. I bucked her off and backed up a few feet, looking at her. She looked at me back, and went to calmly take my arm again. I pulled it away from her and started quickly backing up until I hit some random school police officers. They tried to corner me and lead me away, too, but I scooted out of their slow-moving trap and took a look around me.
Everyone seemed to be looking at me like they knew that this had been coming for quite some time, and that they were waiting for some sort of show out of me. I walked in a quick circle around the entire school's interior, always looking back at the growing number of disappointed-but-serious looking officials following me. I started to get scared and bounded up to Mr. Klager when I had reached his classroom again, asking him what was going on. He sadly said that nobody thought I was of a sane mind, and that they had to take me somewhere for my own safety as well as others'. I looked at him in disbelief, and then quickly asked him to write an official statement on what he thought of me, figuring it would count as something and maybe get them to stop. Never had I imagined that he would write just the opposite and hand it to them, pretty much dooming me. Then, probably a bad idea, I tried quickly describing the whole sumo wrestler incident to him, but he only took this as further proof that I was nuts, looked at me apologetically, and then nodded at Mrs. Weatherspoon.
I started running for the outside, aiming for the courtyard again. once I got out there though, the courtyard kinda faded into Disney World. xD; So now I was running around Disney World with a bunch of people slowly following me everywhere. I tried to do some odd maneuvers to try and shake them off, but it didn't really matter at all, seeing as I was being circled by them and they were beginning to close in. And then I ran into Stephen Hawking. Apparently, he was part of the posse that was running after me, too. So.. so I kicked him in the knee, hard. |D;; And it kinda worked, most of the attention then shifted to helping him. As I was running in some new direction though, I was looking back at him and never saw the guard I was headed straight for until it was too late. He grabbed my arm, and I fought trying to break his grip, but couldn't before everyone slowly reached us and took hold of me, as well. Then they started leading me off somewhere, and that's when my cell phone rang, waking me up. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| I was still in school when I had this, since it's on notebook paper, which places it before May 8th in date. I really should've written the date on it when I wrote it down. |D;;
In the dream, I had stayed in one of our regular chatrooms too long on accident because I'd forgotten to sign off of AOL, and I was kinda sitting in my chair zoned out after I had hung up on Jesse and was supposed to go to sleep for a long while. When I came to, my computer had been idle long enough for AOL to remove my name from the guest list in the chatroom, which let me act as an unseen observer on something I never woulda guessed had been happening. Apparently, past a certain time of night, this particular chat was a secret meeting place of sorts. I saw some bots come in and delete our old messages and tune up the joint in general, and then Riff Raff and Magenta from Rocky Horror and some idiot new producer guy came in.
The producer guy had never met with them before, and didn't believe who they were until they were "in their costumes," even though they were in their costumes the entire time. |D The point of view kept switching from me reading messages in a chatroom to me being at an empty theatre, where they were sitting on the stage with their feet dangling while they talked.
After a while and in one of my sitting-at-the-computer-reading-this-in-chat-form sessions, I grew bored of this and restless and decided to go wander around outside in the middle of the night. At this point in the dream, I became completely unimportant and was only witness to some events. I saw James from Pokemon stumbling dumbly around my neighbourhood. xD;; He accidentally laid his hand on this white, round stone at one point, which turned out to be a warp stone and instantly zapped him to somewhere else in the country. He put his hand on it again, bewildered, and ended up at some other place again. Figuring out what was going on, he decided to use it for fun and was zapping all sorts of places one after the other, until he eventually ended up in a white tent. He put his hand on the stone again to zap somewhere else, but it didn't work. Then a voice spoke from behind him, and he whipped around scared shitless. xD
It turned out to be an ugly, five-foot-high, tentacled, sluggy reptile thing that looked like it came right out of Futurama, and the creature told him that he shouldn't be doing that. Then James realized that this must have been God, as it pulled down and unfurled a map of the U.S. from a nonexistent ceiling and showed him what sort of havoc he'd been wreaking on the tracking system by replaying James' path during the past few minutes. It showed this animated little white dot zooming around the country and stopping for a split second in about twenty different places, then ending up in Wisconsin and exploding into a bunch of tiny rays going everywhere at once. So I guess God is a slug that lives in a tent in Wisconsin according to this. |D;;
God went on to explain to him that the last bit happened because James'd basically erased his own IP address, which caused him to break down crying because this was apparently a really serious issue. Then God put a tentacle on his shoulder and said that it was ok, and assigned him a new one and sent him back to the warp stone he'd started from. Then I sorta came back into myself and was standing there near the warp stone outside my house while he walked back home. It was at this point that I noticed a huge cavelike tunnel thing in between my house and my left neighbour's and decided it was a fantastic idea to explore it, so I did. |D Inside, it looked a lot like a more drab version of the mining tunnel in Snow White and the Seven Dwarves combined with the entrance to Mount LavaLava in Paper Mario, with a little stream of water trickling down the bottom toward the outside. It went up at about a 20 degree angle from here, so I followed it for a while.
About halfway through it, I found Natalie messing with a frog. I chased the frog back towards the way out slowly with her following me, talking from time to time. I eventually got ahold of the little bugger, but once I picked it up it wouldn't stop peeing. I mean it was like a constant stream of it. xDD; Natalie tried to hold it for me so that I wouldn't get drenched in frog whiz, but by that time we were at the entrance again anyway, so she let it go. I went back inside my house and she went into hers, which was right next to mine but on the opposite side the cave was.
I sat back down in my computer chair once I got in and put my headphones on only to find that Jesse was still there on Skype. And that also, according to him, I never actually left my chair: I'd been sitting here hallucinating the whole time. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Eric Clapton - After Midnight | | Time: | 03:41 pm |
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| Today was my last day of school, and I kinda feel like this. :D:
WAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| HEY LOOK, A HAG!
She barfed in a bag.
Now the bag sags.
I went to Public yesterday
And bought a fruit, hey hey hey.
But I too lost my lunch
When I saw her hunch
Over.
..I FELT LIKE READING YOU SOME OF MY WONDERFUL POETRY.
Also, if you have the time, dig this:
"I dare you to tell the me the absolute truth of how you feel about me. I mean, everything that you think about me. Just do it. Reply to this post in a comment, and then, if you have the guts, re-post the question and see what people think of you." | | comments: 8 comments or Leave a comment |
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Corvidophile
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